What can you do when your favorite performer doesn’t notice you?

For a dedicated fan, there is no greater thrill than being noticed by their favorite performer. This may take the form of interaction during a concert or other event, an exchange during the audience-participation segment of an interview, or a response on social media.

The unfortunate truth, however, is that some fans may never receive the recognition they desire from their favorite performers. This can be painful and disappointing, especially if the fan has been a long-time supporter and is still waiting to be noticed.

So what’s a fan to do in these circumstances? There is no tried-and-true method for getting positive attention from a performer, but there are things you can do to maintain a godly perspective and make the disappointment hurt less.

First: Remember that performers are human and therefore limited.

They can only respond to so many social media messages, answer so many fan questions in an interview, and touch so many hands from the stage, and many performers really do try to give as much attention to their fans as possible. This leads us to …

Second: Don’t self-hate.

The lack of recognition likely has nothing to do with your physical attractiveness, intelligence, or how much merchandise you were able to afford, so please nip any hurtful self-talk in the bud.

Remember, you are God’s very own workmanship, lovingly and intentionally handmade down to the tiniest detail of your physical body and your personal circumstances (Psalm 139). Celebrate the uniqueness of what He has done in you instead of focusing on what you consider flaws or shortcomings (Rom. 9:20).

That said, there are unfortunately some performers who do not have a godly perspective and only acknowledge fans who reflect their personal standards of beauty or who spend a lot of money in support of their careers. In such cases, you may want to reconsider why you admire this performer and are investing your time, energy, and money in supporting their work.

Third: Evaluate why you want to be noticed.

It’s only natural to desire a connection with people you admire, and that includes performers. Having a bit of a crush on a performer is also normal. The situation becomes unhealthy, however, when a fan fixates on a performer and desires their attention more than anything else.

Here’s a simple litmus test you can use to see if your admiration for a performer is crossing the line into unhealthy territory. Think about the biggest problem in your life right now. Who comes to mind first as the one who can solve this problem for you: God or the performer?

As previously mentioned, performers are only human. They have problems and shortcoming of their own. They cannot remedy loneliness, cure depression, or heal broken hearts, and to expect them to do so puts a burden on their shoulders that no human was ever meant to carry. A performer’s song or movie may lift your spirits, but God alone is our one true Comforter, Healer, and Provider (Ps. 34:18; Ps. 103:2–3; Phil. 4:19). To believe or behave otherwise will simply set you up for unnecessary heartbreak.

Fourth: Reconsider your own talents and abilities.

Take a look at the gifts God has given you. Are you putting them to good use for His glory and His purposes as He guides you, or are you neglecting them in order to invest more in your favorite performer? Admiration and support for a talented and godly performer can be a wonderful thing, but it should never come at the expense of the relationships, talents, and life that God has given you (1 Cor. 12).

– Teresa Santoski


Looking for more godly encouragement geared specifically toward performers and fans? Check out Prayers for Oppa, my performer/fan devotional, which features prayers and Bible verses on Good Health, Performance Safety, Loneliness, and other topics of interest to performers and their fans. For more information, including a sample chapter and how/where to purchase, click  here.

One Response to What can you do when your favorite performer doesn’t notice you?

  1. Pingback: Fans, performers, and appropriate social media use: a response to the events surrounding BTS’s New York City concert | Teresa Santoski

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